Conquering Life's Problems
By Radio Pastor Perry F. Rockwood
Published by
The Peoples Gospel Hour
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1. HOW TO OVERCOME WORRY
In a recent newspaper article a Dr. Crain remarked that 33,000
people, who need no medical care, go weekly to physicians for
treatment. They are patients who worry. Many of these, sad to say,
are Bible Christians.
We are living in a world that is sick with fear and worry. Worry
affects every aspect of life. One doctor said: “Business men who do
not know how to fight, worry; they die young.” A leading physician
said: “Seventy percent of all patients who go to doctors could cure
themselves if they could get rid of worry.”
My own testimony is that after finishing university, I started out
in 1941 for Presbyterian College, Montreal, with only enough money
to get me to Truro, 40 miles from home. I preached there, received
$25, bought a ticket to Montreal and arrived in that city with only
25 cents in my pocket. I began to worry and went to bed with an
ulcer and a nervous breakdown. For three weeks I lay there, taking
milk and cream every hour with medicine. Then the principal arrived
and gave me a good lecture on failing to trust the Lord, refusing to
believe the promises of the Bible, and I saw my sin of worry. I
immediately jumped out of bed and have not known what it is to be
worried or mentally upset ever since. I know from personal
experience that worry often causes sickness, and worry for the
believer is a sin.
A passage of the Bible that has been a real help and blessing to me
is Matthew 6:25-34: “Take no thought for your life, what ye shall
eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall
put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap,
nor gather into barns: yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye
not much better than they?… And why take ye thought for raiment?
Consider the lilies of the field…even Solomon in all his glory was
not arrayed like one of these…. Shall He not much more clothe you, O
ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we
eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
(for after all these things do the Gentiles [the unsaved] seek): for
your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness: and all
these things shall be added unto you…”
The words “take no thought” mean to get out of the habit of worrying
about food and clothing. Jesus is not teaching that we should have a
reckless neglect of the future nor fail to budget and plan our
lives. But He is teaching us here that we should learn to live one
day at a time and to put God first in every aspect of our lives.
This is exactly the way we seek to live at The Peoples Gospel Hour
where we have a worldwide faith ministry for the Lord. Our weekly
budget is large, yet each morning from 8:45 to 9:30 the Staff meets
for prayer that God will bless His Word and provide for the daily
needs. We have learned to live one day at a time.
A farmer, whose home stood in the line of a flash flood, saw all his
possessions swept away in an hour. He was almost in despair until
his little daughter reminded him, “Daddy, you still have us.” Then
he began to be thankful to God for His mercies, even in the flood.
Returning to the ranch, he wandered out to the creek. Here all the
topsoil had been washed away, and in the rock there was a glittering
streak. There was gold on his ranch! So all our worries may have
blessings hidden in them if we trust God to reveal them to us.
For the believer there is real joy in living one day at a time. Paul
cried to God over and over again for victory over Satan’s buffeting.
The Lord’s reply was: “My grace is sufficient for thee.” He gives
daily grace for our needs too. We read in Deuteronomy 33:25: “As thy
days so shall thy strength be.” “But they that wait upon the Lord
shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as
eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and
not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).
Paul lived in the midst of many tensions. We read in Philippians
4:10-12: “But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last
your are of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful,
but ye lacked opportunity. Not that I speak in respect of want: for
I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I
know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and
in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both
to abound and to suffer need.”
Paul knew the secret of living one day at a time. He knew for sure
he was saved and on his way to Heaven. But during his earthly
journey, in the midst of all the cares of the churches, he
experienced daily victory over worry and life’s frustrations.
The word “worry” is translated in the New Testament as “take no
thought” or “be careful”. It comes from two words meaning to
“divide” and “mind.” Worry means to divide the mind between that
which is wholesome to our character development and that which is
damaging. James says, “A double minded man is unstable in all his
ways” (James 1:8). He is unstable in his emotions, in his thought
processes, and in his decisions. Worry affects the will which often
leads to “abulia” or loss of will power which is often the cause of
a “nervous breakdown.”
The Psalmist knew that worry was contrary to faith in God. In Psalm
42:5 he cried: “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou
disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for
the help of his countenance.” The words “cast down” describe a
feeling of anxiety, worry, guilt, and despair. Why, he asked, had he
come to this position in life? Then he realized it was because he
had lost hope in God. “Hope thou in God” was the answer to his
worry.
We have so many plain and wonderful promises from God’s Word to
encourage us along our journey to heaven. “Commit thy way unto the
Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass” (Psalm
37:5). “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He
shall never suffer the righteous to be moved” (Psa. 55:22).
Philippians 4:6,7: “Be careful for nothing (in nothing be anxious or
worried); but in every thing by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace
of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep (or guard) your
hearts and mind (thoughts) through Christ Jesus.”
Praise God, we have the ministry of prayer. Dr. T. Buckley, the
distinguished mental specialist, addressed the British Mental
Association in these words: “As an alienist and one whose whole life
has been concerned with sufferings of the mind, I would state that
of all the hygienic measures to counteract disturbed sleep,
depression of the spirits, and all the miserable sequels of a
disturbed mind, I would undoubtedly give first place to the simple
habit of prayer.”
Worry, on the other hand, indicates a lack of prayer and a life of
prayerlessness. It is impossible to pray and worry at the same time.
“Thou wilt keep Him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee:
because he trusteth in thee” (Isaiah 26:3).
During a blitz on England in the last War, an elderly lady refused
to move form the top front room of her London home to a safer place.
Her testimony was, “I says my prayers to God every night and I goes
to sleep. There’s no need for us both to keep awake.” She knew the
reality of trusting the Lord in prayer each night and of casting her
care upon Him.
Another way to overcome worry is to spend time in thanksgiving to
God. No matter how difficult our situations, of all the peoples of
the world we are truly most blessed of God. “In everything give
thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you”
(I Thess. 5:18).
It is also important to be practical and to show a little enthusiasm
for yourself and others. “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it
with all thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge,
nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest” (Eccl. 9:10).
The way to overcome discouragement and worry is to look away from
self unto the Lord. Do not give in to circumstances. Don’t give up.
You know the story of the two frogs that fell into a large cream
jug. One frog croaked right away, “I’ve had it.” Down he went and he
died. The other frog said to himself, “If I am going down it won’t
be without a struggle.” So he kicked and paddled and churned and the
next thing he knew he was sitting on a cake of butter! Which frog
are you like? Paul was able to say by inspiration: “We are troubled
on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in
despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down (knocked down) but
not destroyed (knocked out)” (2 Cor. 4:8,9).
Actually, if you are not truly saved, born again by the Spirit of
God, you do have something to worry about because you are lost. You
are separated from God and on the way to a burning Hell. In order to
help you to be saved, there are four facts I would like to give you
right now:
(1) You have a tremendous need, a sin need. Romans 3:23 tells us
that we are all sinners. (2) You can do nothing of yourself to meet
this need. Good works are of no help. Self effort is all in vain.
(3) Jesus Christ met your sin need when He died upon the Cross. He
shed His precious blood for you and bore in His own body the penalty
of your sin. (4) You must repent and personally received Christ as
your own Saviour if you are to be saved. “For God so loved the
world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth
in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).
2. TENSIONS AND TEMPER
The story is told of a housewife who had a nervous breakdown during
a Sunday morning church service. It came on when the choir was
singing, “Awake, my soul, stretch every nerve.” She had been
“stretching every nerve” all week. That’s what her housework,
shopping, the budget, the children, and the TV commercials had been
demanding of her. Now, with the church pushing her to “stretch every
nerve” it was too much and she broke under the many tensions.
Jesus said: “Take therefore no thought (no anxious thought) for the
morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof” (Matt. 6:34). This
simply means the we should learn to live one day at a time and stop
worrying about tomorrow. We build up our tensions with anxious care.
Each day has enough trouble of its own so let us concentrate on
today’s tensions, not those of tomorrow.
John Henry Newman, an Anglican preacher, was traveling from Rome to
England. The sailing ship was stopped for lack of wind. It was June
16, 1833. Hours passed and the ship did not move. Newman paced the
deck and prayed that God would send the wind and get them on their
way immediately. He went to the captain, “Can’t you do something?”
The captain replied, “I am as anxious as you are to sail, but we who
sail before the wind have learned to wait. We take one step at a
time.” Then pointing to the sky, the captain said, “The star is
shining again. If a wind rises tonight, we can chart our course by
it.”
Newman was amazed, “You mean you can be guided by that one little
star?” “Yes,” said the captain. “One needs the sun by day, but one
little star is sufficient by night.” Suddenly Newman saw the light.
“I’ve been looking for a sun to guide me and God has sent me a star.
God dropped me here to teach me a lesson.” In the inspiration of
that moment, Newman wrote his greatest hymn:
“Lead, kindly light! Amid the encircling gloom; Lead Thou me on.
The night is dark and I am far from home; Lead Thou me on.
Keep thou my feet: I do not ask to see
The distant scene. One step enough for me.”
One step at a time. One step at a time. “Sufficient unto the day is
the evil thereof.”
Temper is closely related to tensions. Those who do not wait upon
God and rest in Him become irritable. How we need to be tempered for
the Bible says: “Every man that striveth for the mastery is
temperate in all things” (1 Cor. 9:25). We need the reality of
self-control.
When I have lost my temper I have lost my reason too.
I’m never proud of anything which angrily I do.
When I have talked in anger, and my cheeks were flaming red,
I have always uttered something which I wish I had not said.
In anger I have never done a kindly deed or wise.
But many things for which I felt I should apologize.
In looking back across my life, and all I’ve lost or made,
I can’t recall a single time when fury ever paid.
There is victory in Christ over proneness to anger. This frame of
mind should be treated as a sin. Temper needs to be confessed and
judged in the light of Calvary. In 1 John 1:7 we read: “The blood of
Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin.” The Lord Jesus knew
all about tensions and burdens. He was betrayed by one of His
followers, condemned by the religious leaders of his day, and
forsaken by His most faithful disciples. Yet, in the end, He was
exalted and given a Name which is above every name. He is now our
Great High Priest who can be touched with the feeling of our
infirmities (Heb. 4:15). Paul knew what it was to suffer, to be
misunderstood, and to be under great tensions. Yet he wrote in Phil.
4:4-13: “Rejoice in the Lord…be careful (over anxious) for nothing…I
have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content…I can
do all things through Christ which strengthened me.” In all his many
trials, Paul learned that the greatest of all blessings is that deep
and abiding relationship with the Lord.
Closely allied with anxiety and temper is grief. Who has not known
it? Who has not stood by the casket of a loved one to say farewell?
Grief comes from a broken heart and a suffering mind. Adam and Eve
knew the first grief when they discovered the body of their son,
Cain. David cried in Psalm 38:17: “My sorrow is continually before
me.” Job lost his seven sons and three daughters and knew that awful
inward grief of a broken heart as we read in Job 2:13: “They sat
down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none
spake a word unto him, for they saw that his grief was very great.”
Yes, and One greater than all knew the full reality of grief. In
Isaiah 53:3,4,10 we read: “He is despised and rejected of men; a man
of sorrows, and acquainted with grief:…surely He hath borne our
griefs and carried our sorrows…the Lord…hath put Him to grief.” The
major grief of our Lord was the rejected of His salvation by the
people of His own day.
When loved ones die in the Lord, our grief is overcome by the full
assurance that one day we shall see them again. Paul said in 1 Cor.
15:19: “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all
men most miserable.” While we grieve the passing of those near and
dear to us, we know that, when they die as believers, they have gone
to be with Christ which is far better (Phil. 1:23). This gives us
new hope in the midst of our sorrow. We would not wish them back to
this world of sin and strife and tears. We sorrow, but not as those
which have no hope (1 Thess. 4:13).
Many of you today are grieving over loved ones who have died. The
Lord can help you if you will lean upon Him. There are three tenses
in the word “trust.” On the Emmaus Road our Lord’s heart must have
been sad as He heard the two disciples speak of their grief and
shattered hopes. They said, “We trusted that it had been He which
should have redeemed Israel.” They were living in the past tense.
Christ told them to trust Him but they spoke of Him as being in the
past only and not in the present.
There is a present tense in our trust. “What time I am afraid, I
will trust in Thee” (Psalm 56:3). This is what the Lord wants to see
in our lives - a present, daily trust in Him - not only on bright
days but also when dark clouds cover the sunshine.
There is also a trust that makes the future secure. “I will trust
and not be afraid” (Isaiah 12:2). Fear drives away trust but trust
destroys fear. The foundation of faith is strong for it is built
upon a past trust that proved God’s Word to be true. Trust for the
present gives peace within for we know that Christ is in charge of
every detail of our lives. Trust faces the future with confidence
believing that Christ will work all things out for His honour and
glory.
H.G. Spafford, a Chicago businessman, received word that four of his
five children had drowned in an accident at sea. He wrote these
wonderful words:
When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrow like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
“It is well, it is well, with my soul!”
Not only do we have anxiety, temper, and grief to cope with, but
suffering itself. From the beginning of time suffering has been a
frustrating human problem. It is not easy to understand. It is not
easy to take. Job had grave doubts about God’s goodness in the midst
of his suffering. But at the end of the journey his faith was strong
in God: “But he knoweth the way that I take: when He hath tried me,
I shall come forth as gold” (Job 23:10).
Suffering is often a tremendous time of testing. How much pain can
one endure? Why doesn’t God do something about it? How much longer
can I stand this present situation? The answer is found in God’s
promise: “He will not suffer you to be tempted (or tested) above
that ye are able…to bear” (1 Cor. 10:13). Some people can bear more
than others.
The secret is to live in constant touch with the Lord. An old
Persian story gives us this beautiful picture. A wanderer one day,
weary from the burning sun, stopped to rest under a shady tree.
Evening shadows awakened him and he hurried to find shelter for the
night. In a small, barren room he became increasingly aware of a
sweet perfume. He searched but could not find the source. Yet the
fragrance persisted.
“What are you? Where are you?” he demanded. Then his hand touched
his loose robe. A small piece of clay fell from its folds. Picking
it up he found the answer. That rare odour came from the small piece
of clay. “I don’t understand,” the wanderer said, “you have the
fragrance of a gem for Smarcand. You could be a precious spikenard
or another costly merchandise. But you are only a piece of clay.
From where, then, comes this wondrous perfume?”
“O Sir,” came the answer. “I am but a lump of common clay. I claim
no beauty of my own, no fragrance. I am but the lowliest of
substances. My secret is this, I have been dwelling with a rose.”
This is the secret of the beauty found in the life of the believer
who dwells with the Rose of Sharon. The lowliest life, in fellowship
with Christ, becomes fragrant and lovely. Within every person may be
feelings of loneliness or longings for things withheld. But with
Christ dwelling within, the sweet essence of His Spirit permeates
the heart and mind. There is no beauty like the life lived with the
Rose of Sharon, the One altogether lovely.
3. A DEFEATED CHRISTIAN LIFE
An old recipe for chicken fricassee begins with this instruction:
“First catch the chicken.” In the Christian life we must begin where
the cook book starts and get the primary ingredient which is Jesus
Christ. Real life begins with Christ. It is not found in church
creeds nor in church membership nor in the sacraments, but real life
is in Christ.
Many believers seem to live an up-and-down Christian life. When they
are down they are truly defeated both in their own souls and in
their service for their Lord. We are saved by grace. We are not
saved by good works of any kind. Salvation is truly and wholly of
the Lord. So it is with the Christian life. Your strength and power
to live that life comes from the same divine source. “I am crucified
with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in
me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith
of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me” (Galatians
2:20).
As Christians we have responsibilities. We are to reach out for God
and He Himself will give us the strength to do it. Paul, by
inspiration said: “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended:
but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind,
and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press
toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ
Jesus” (Philippians 3:13,14).
We are “workers together with Him” (2 Cor. 6:1). The foundation of
our life is Christ Himself (1 Cor. 3:11). Upon this foundation we
are to build a life that is characterized by “gold, silver, precious
stones” which will endure at the Judgment Seat or Reward Seat of
Christ. It is up to us to fight a good fight, to finish our course,
and to keep the faith in order that we may receive the crown of
righteousness which is laid up for us in that day (2 Tim. 4:7,8).
To be a successful believer in Christ we must follow Him. Jesus
said: “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take
up his cross, and follow me” (Matt. 16:24). We must deny ourselves.
We must die to self. Christ living in us must now live through us.
We are to take up His cross. We must be perfectly identified with
Christ in His death and resurrection. It is not an easy road. We
must follow the Lord. It is a daily walk. We know not what the
future holds but we know who holds the future. We commit the way to
Him. We trust the unseen to Him. If our Lord is big enough to save
us He is big enough to look after us.
Alfred Lord Tennyson was walking through his garden one morning with
a friend. The friend asked the great poet, “What is Jesus Christ to
you?” Tennyson pointed to a pansy and said, “Just what the sun is to
life of that little flower.” The flower follows the sun in its
transit across the heavens and receives its life from the sun. So we
are to follow Christ.
Who walk with God must take His way across far distances and gray,
To goals that others do not see, where others do not care to be.
Who walks with God must have no fear when danger and defeat appear,
Nor stop when every hope seems gone, for God, our God, moves ever
on.
Who walks with God must press ahead when sun or cloud is overhead,
When all the waiting thousands cheer, or when they only stop to
sneer;
And naught is left but jaded powers when all the challenge leaves
the hours
But he will some day reach the dawn, for God, our God, moves ever
on.
One of the secrets of victory is to recognize the presence of God,
every day. Jesus said: “Lo I am with you always even unto the end of
the world” (Matt. 28:30). “Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh
to you” (James 4:8). We draw nigh to Him in reading His precious
Word. God visits us and speaks to us through His Word. We draw near
to Him in prayer.
What should be the Christian’s goal in life? The first article of
the Westminster Shorter Catechism asks: “What is the chief end of
man?” The answer is, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy
Him forever.” This is the main object of life. Most of the other
things that occupy our attention are of minor importance. God says:
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness: and
all these things shall be added unto you” (Matt. 6:33).
To get the most out of the Christian life we must spend it for
something that outlasts life itself. Paul was able to say in 1
Corinthians 15:58: “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast,
unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as
ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.” The world does
not owe us a living. We owe the world a life - the life of Christ
living in us.
I remember well when Bill McChesney, a missionary in the Congo, was
martyred by the rebels in the Stanleyville area. He had been beaten
on a truck and his back was bleeding. Then he was speared to death
by the “Simbas.” Sometime before his death he had written this poem
entitled, MY CHOICE.
I want my breakfast served at “eight”, with ham and eggs upon the
plate;
A well-broiled steak I’ll eat at “one”; and dine again when day is
done.
I want an ultramodern home, and in each room a telephone;
Soft carpets, too, upon the floors, and pretty drapes to grace the
doors.
A cosy place of lovely things, like easy chairs and innersprings,
And then I’ll get a small TV - of course, “I’m careful what I see.”
I want my wardrobe, too, to be of neatest, finest quality.
With latest style of suit and vest, why shouldn’t Christians have
the best?
But then the Master I can hear, in no uncertain voice, so clear,
“I bid you come and follow Me, the lonely Man of Galilee.”
“Birds of the air have made their nest, and foxes in their holes
find rest;
But I can offer you no bed; no place have I to lay My head.”
In shame I hung my head and cried. How could I spurn the Crucified?
Could I forget the way He went, the sleepless nights in prayer He
spent?
For forty days without a bit, alone He fasted day and night;
Despised, rejected - on he went, and did not stop till veil He rent.
A man of sorrows and of grief, no earthly friend to bring relief -
“Smitten of God,” the prophet said - Mocked, beaten, bruised, His
blood ran red.
If He be God and died for me, no sacrifice too great can be
For me, a mortal man, to make; I’ll do it all for Jesus’ sake.
Yes, I will tread the path He trod. No other way will please my God;
So, henceforth, this my choice shall be, my choice for all eternity.
Bill McChesney lived with eternity’s values in view. He laid up
treasures in Heaven. His chief end in life was to glorify God and to
enjoy Him for ever.
There would be less failure in our lives if we dedicated them to the
glory of God and to the service of our Lord Jesus Christ. We cannot
do this in our own strength but God has given us the power of His
Holy Spirit. Let us be willing to share what we have with others.
If I have strength, I owe the service of the strong; if melody I
have, I owe the world a song,
If I can stand when all around my post are falling, if I can run
with speed when needy hearts are calling,
And if my torch can light the dark of any night, then, I must pay
the debt I owe with living light.
If heaven’s grace had dowered me with some rare gift; if I can lift
some load no other’s strength can lift;
If I can heal some wound no other hand can heal; if some great truth
the speaking spies to me reveal,
Then, I must go, a broken and wounded thing, if to a wounded world
my gifts no healing bring.
For any gift God gives to me I cannot pay; gifts are most mine when
I most give them all away.
God’s gifts are like His flowers which show their right to stay by
giving all their bloom and fragrance away.
Riches are not in gold or land, estates or marts, the only wealth
worth having is found in human hearts.
4. MARRIAGE PROBLEMS
The whole problem of marriage today is that husbands and wives are
not willing to live by Bible principles. Instead of the Lordship of
Christ there is selfishness, sin, sarcasm, sabotage, scandal,
scrapping, spatting, struggling, screeching, secularism, seduction,
self-pity, self-serving, senselessness, shamefulness, shrewdness,
silence, simulation, slackness, snobbery, and stinginess.
The Bible makes it clear that man and woman are not equal. The equal
rights legislation of our governments is of the Devil and is being
used of the Devil to break up homes. The first woman, Eve, was made
of man-material - Adam’s rib. God made woman from the man. Man and
woman are made for each other and to complement each other.
Adam recognized Eve as his partner but not as his property. Woman is
not inferior to man. There is no Bible teaching that the man or the
woman is superior or inferior one to the other. They complement one
another. We read in Genesis 2:24,25: “Therefore shall a man leave
his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they
shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife,
and were not ashamed.” From the beginning of the human family a man
and his wife were to be one. They were to multiply and replenish the
earth. They were to work together, not separately.
Notice that man is to “leave his father and his mother” and to take
full responsibility of his wife. It is his job to provide for her.
He is the head of a new family. He is the head over the wife. He is
to love his wife as Christ loved the church. They are to work
together in home responsibilities. The woman’s place is in the home
and her highest honour is to bear children and to be the keeper of
the home. The modern woman’s liberation movement is of the Devil and
is helping to break up marriages and homes.
The husband and wife are to “cleave” to one another. The man must
cleave to his wife. The wife must cleave to her husband. When this
God-given law is broken, a substitute will be adopted which could be
a job, a friend, children, or materialism. To cleave carries with it
the idea of a determined and devoted persistence to stay with a
person. This is how Ruth clave to Naomi (Ruth 1:14). In relation to
marriage it speaks of gluing or cementing together - not separation
or divorce. Nothing will come between a man and his wife who cleave
to one another as if glued together so that they can function as
one.
This is what the Bible means by “one flesh.” They share a common
purpose in life so that the two become a unit. The Bible speaks of
one God but God is three in one. The three form a unit. The three
Persons of the Godhead agree as one. The unity of the husband and
wife is not only physical but also emotional and spiritual. Their
oneness of purpose encourages trust between them.
When Jesus spoke of man and woman being joined together in Matthew
19:5 he used the word “cleave.” This word is descriptive of a team
of oxen yoked together. They work together for a common cause. They
depend on one another. They pull the same way. They have a common
goal.
I know that many of you today are having family problems. No matter
how difficult your situation may be, I would encourage you both to
sit down quietly, talk things over, and reaffirm your marriage vows.
You must cleave to each other and share a common purpose in life.
Separations, divorces, and common-law marriages are not the answer.
They only multiply problems. Oh, how I pray that you will do
everything possible to save your home, your marriage, and your
children. Give God His rightful place in your hearts.
The primary problem of the broken home is that the husband and wife
are trying to have a happy marriage without the third party - the
Lord Jesus Christ. Sin is at the root of all unhappiness. What is
your particular fault? Is it fussing? Sin is to blame for this. Is
it jealousy? Sin is to blame. Is it temper? Sin is to blame. The
Lord Jesus Christ has the power to save from every sin. He died upon
the Cross of Calvary for you and there paid the penalty of your
sins. He rose again to give you power over sin. Trust Him today as
your Saviour.
Christ will be the constant companion in your home and personal
lives. When problems arise and there is need for help, you will not
have to go to a lawyer or an unsaved marriage counsellor. Go to
Jesus. He knows all about your troubles. He knows how to solve them
too! There is no greater joy than for a couple to pray together. Get
down on your knees, have a little talk with Jesus about your
problems and then have a talk with each other.
A pastor, in a message, once said, “A home on the rocks can be
rebuilt upon the Rock. Any couple can get along together is they
will take Christ into their hearts.” After he finished preaching an
attractive young couple asked to speak to him privately. “Pastor,”
they said, “We filed for a divorce yesterday. We love each other but
we cannot get along. We disagree on almost everything. We cannot
make a go of it so we are going to get a divorce. Just now we heard
you say that any couple can get along if they will give Christ a
chance. We love each other enough to want to make a got of our
marriage. Do you really think Christ can help us to forget our
differences and to be happy together?”
The preacher told them he knew it would work if they would give
Christ a place in their hearts and lives. They accepted Christ as
their Saviour and decided to call off the divorce. Within a few
weeks they came to him with faces full of joy and said, “Pastor, we
never dreamed we could get along together so well. We are truly
happy. We are not going to get a divorce. Christ is the Rock of our
lives and the Rock of our home.”
In order to be saved, you must first realize how you cannot be
saved. You cannot be saved by good works, by reformation, by turning
over a new leaf, or by doing the best you can. Salvation is not
being christened, confirmed, or baptized. Going to Mass, joining the
church, praying to Mary, or taking the sacraments will not save you.
God says: “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of
yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should
boast” (Ephesians 2:8,9).
You can never be saved until you are willing to come to the Lord as
a sinner. Good people cannot be saved. Christ died for sinners, not
good people. People who think they are good and are trusting in
their goodness for salvation will die and go to Hell. All sinners
who come to Christ Jesus, believing that He died for them and rose
again, and receive Him personally will be saved.
Once you are saved, seek to live for God and for one another. One of
the most remarkable laws of God’s universe is that we lose what we
hold and keep what we give away. The farmer must give his seed into
the ground in order to reap a harvest. Jesus said: “For whosoever
will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life
for my sake and the gospel’s the same shall find it” (Mark 8:35).
We are all selfish by nature and selfishness is a real enemy of a
happy marriage. When we see a fault in a loved one, what should we
do? Criticize? Nag? No, we must quietly go to the Lord.
An elderly man, after being saved, prayed for his wife who was
subject to spells of jealousy. As he prayed he discovered two
things: (1) that he was able to keep sweetly quiet when she lost her
temper and spoke harsh words; (2) that after several months her
spells of jealousy decreased in frequency and intensity. Finally
they ceased. Under the blessing of daily loving prayer, her life was
beautifully changed.
We all have faults. It is very important that marriage partners seek
to understand each other. Such an understanding will help a husband
and wife to overlook each other’s shortcomings. There are several
reasons for faultfinding. (1) Physical tiredness or a run-down
condition; (2) Sorrow that has turned to bitterness with the passing
of the years; (3) Loneliness. The wife so often alone with the
children or even without children; (4) An inferiority complex. This
very common problem requires a sympathetic response on the part of
the other partner.
When a disagreement arises it is important for either husband or
wife to be meek and quiet in order to avoid a fight or nasty
atmosphere. Loving respect one for the other is the secret of
harmony in the home, irrespective of the cause of the trouble. “Love
never faileth” (1 Cor. 13:8).
Both husband and wife must accept each other as being very human, -
with many virtues but not faultless. God gives the proper Christian
spirit to deal with every home situation. Colossians 3:12,13: “Put
on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of
mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a
quarrel against any; even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
This passage directly precedes Paul’s statement addressed to wives,
husbands, children, and fathers. This ought to be the attitude of
every member of the family one toward the other. Every husband and
wife should meditate upon Colossians 3:12-17 until the message
permeates their whole being.
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